A moment captured in one

W.A.L.T...... write descriptive paragraphs

Success Criteria:

-Generate an attribute chart to develop and sort ideas and details for descriptive writing
-Use interesting vocabulary to describe
-Generate paragraphs that have similar ideas-Create links between paragraphs

I think that I've really improved on descriptive writing in general because I've been able to include more descriptive vocabulary such as the ones below. I have done my planning using an attribute chart.

The ray of the sultry sun beams down on the overflowing crowd of people who stood in the streets of Rio. It’s humid heat starts to fill the air as a rush of excitement runs through the crowd. Children glance over at the starting line as they see cyclist start to organise their bikes for the race.  One by one people start to reach for their phones and cameras as they overhear the presenter begin the race.

As the crowd roared with encouragement, each cyclist’s accelerated their pedalling while the people start to take snapshots that captured every movement they made. Sweat dripped on every cyclist's face as they pushed themselves to their very best meanwhile pleasing their fans at the same time. In synchronisation they form one line as they swivel around each bend. A big “ohhh” comes from the crowd as some people try to get a better view.

Attributes	Where	What happened
Topic sentence	On the streets of Rio	As the ray of the sultry sun beams down on the street as it overflows with people
Top	On the streets of Rio	The humid heat begins to fill the air as people can’t wait for the race to start
Middle	On the streets of Rio	Children start to get excited as they see some cyclist getting organised to start
Conclusion	The crowd start to take their cameras and phones out as they hear the presenter begin the race

Hear	See	Location	Movement	Temperature
- Shots being taken on phones - Sound of the crowd cheering -Encouragement of the crowd - Roaring - Screaming as the race begins	- People - Families - Cars - Police - Security - Other cyclists - Children - People trying to get a better view - Concentration of each cyclist	- On a street - In Rio - Overflowing of people - Barriers	- Clapping - Jumping up and down - Slowly turning the wheel trying not to skid fall -Trying to accelerate his pedalling	- Hot - Humid - Sultry - Stuffy

Attribute	Where	What happened
Topic sentence	On the streets of Rio	The race begins and the crowd gives encouragement to the cyclists
Top	On the streets of Rio	Sweat falls on the cyclist faces they try hard to win the race
Middle	On the streets of Rio	They go in one line as they ride round the bend
Conclusion	The crowd stops cheering as something  happens to a cyclist